![]() ![]() ![]() The consequence of this over time could significantly damage both your mental wellbeing and your relationship, if the thought of even discussing their behaviour with your partner feels unsafe or fills you with fear, because of how you think they might react, then you should seriously consider ending the relationship swiftly and safely. This kind of interaction can become habitual, if you feel frightened to challenge your partner or let them 'get away with it' in order to have a quiet life. If you feel that the way your partner engages with you is a form of gaslighting, it’s important to do something about it. What should you do if you think you are being gaslighted? Their partner, over time, starts to doubt their own reactions and thoughts. Gaslighting differs from genuine relationship disagreement in that one partner is consistently negating and criticising the other's perception, insisting that they are wrong, or telling them that their emotional reaction is irrational, over the top or that they are imagining things. Gaslighting typically occurs over a period of time and is not on a one-off interaction. Whilst it usually occurs within a couple relationship, it can occur in any relationship such as friendships, work colleagues or within families. It is a manipulative tactic used to gain power and is part of a pattern of coercive and controlling behaviour, a form of emotional domestic abuse. Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation and abuse in which the perpetrator makes his or her partner question and doubt their own perceptions, memory, judgement and sanity. However, there’s a world of difference between these everyday disagreements and gaslighting. In a healthy relationship, there’ll be room for compromise, negotiation and, sometimes, the decision to ‘agree to disagree’. Having opinions or preferences is normal and we all have our own ways of dealing with these. Sometimes, feelings might run high and voices are raised. In any relationship or friendship, there’ll be times when you’ll have a disagreement and, on occasions, you may argue.
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